Monday, December 8, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Ten Days Down, Twenty Days to Go
Or, well, almost ten days down. The date throws me off because I don't sleep during nighttime hours anymore, apparently.
I haven't written anything in a few days, as far as NaNo goes. I have two pep talks sitting in my inbox waiting to be read, but I haven't because I think they'll make me feel bad for not having written anything. Not that letting them sit there is any better. Finals time is on me full force now, so I have an endless onslaught of work to do between now and the twentieth. Somehow though, finals time is always when I find the time to do the most useless things -- it's how I cope, maybe. Yesterday, I finished penciling all the pages for my ten-page minicomic, which is my Sequential Art final. That was a little ahead of schedule as far as my day-to-day plans go, but instead of taking advantage of that fact to get a head, I watched Perfect Blue instead, and today, I watched some more of Spice and Wolf. I've got a 6-8 page paper due Wednesday I'm going to try and start now, but...
Still no ideas for where NaNo is going, if anywhere. My roommate has given up, and I feel like it's partially my fault because the idea was to motivate each other to begin with. Of course, there's still time to "catch up later," but by the time I get out of classes, there'll be ten days left -- and there'd still be traveling to do.
I think the idea of giving up completely is only hard this year because I really wanted to have three wins in a row (though of course, after any number of wins, it becomes harder to stop; whether I'd won once before or ten times before, the first year things stop going well will suck). The years before my first win in 2006 were all pretty lackluster like this. I think the worst part is just the idea that maybe I won't have the motivation to try as hard as I did in 2006 and 2007 if I left 2008 die.
I haven't written anything in a few days, as far as NaNo goes. I have two pep talks sitting in my inbox waiting to be read, but I haven't because I think they'll make me feel bad for not having written anything. Not that letting them sit there is any better. Finals time is on me full force now, so I have an endless onslaught of work to do between now and the twentieth. Somehow though, finals time is always when I find the time to do the most useless things -- it's how I cope, maybe. Yesterday, I finished penciling all the pages for my ten-page minicomic, which is my Sequential Art final. That was a little ahead of schedule as far as my day-to-day plans go, but instead of taking advantage of that fact to get a head, I watched Perfect Blue instead, and today, I watched some more of Spice and Wolf. I've got a 6-8 page paper due Wednesday I'm going to try and start now, but...
Still no ideas for where NaNo is going, if anywhere. My roommate has given up, and I feel like it's partially my fault because the idea was to motivate each other to begin with. Of course, there's still time to "catch up later," but by the time I get out of classes, there'll be ten days left -- and there'd still be traveling to do.
I think the idea of giving up completely is only hard this year because I really wanted to have three wins in a row (though of course, after any number of wins, it becomes harder to stop; whether I'd won once before or ten times before, the first year things stop going well will suck). The years before my first win in 2006 were all pretty lackluster like this. I think the worst part is just the idea that maybe I won't have the motivation to try as hard as I did in 2006 and 2007 if I left 2008 die.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Still Nothing
I haven't written anything today. I don't really feel like caring at the moment, but every day I don't write anything and don't know what I'm writing means more to do later if I ever get back to bothering.
I was productive today though, and I'm surprised I'm still awake considering I got about five hours of sleep yesterday morning (7am - noon) and couldn't nap because I had class all afternoon (back-to-back classes, 2pm - 7:30pm). I drew another one-shot sketchbook comic that I'll scan tomorrow and did some other little things.
No writing though. I have 10 comic pages to pencil this weekend, so I'm not sure how much I'm even going to try to write.
Hmmm.
Gonna sleep now, I think. I'm on New Zealand time tonight!
I was productive today though, and I'm surprised I'm still awake considering I got about five hours of sleep yesterday morning (7am - noon) and couldn't nap because I had class all afternoon (back-to-back classes, 2pm - 7:30pm). I drew another one-shot sketchbook comic that I'll scan tomorrow and did some other little things.
No writing though. I have 10 comic pages to pencil this weekend, so I'm not sure how much I'm even going to try to write.
Hmmm.
Gonna sleep now, I think. I'm on New Zealand time tonight!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Flundering and Faltering
This has got to be one of my worst Novembers in a good long while. Really, the only good thing that's happened this month is the election, and I'm thinking that that won't really change for the next twenty-four days or so.
I've decided to start over on NaNoWriMo because Urban Decay just wasn't working out. I don't know. I just didn't have any ideas for it. The problem with starting over is that I don't have any other ideas.
I've come to the inherently depressing conclusion that I can't really write stories that end. Having roleplayed for so long has probably been a horrible influence -- in roleplay, I don't have to write endings, I only have to write deaths. Writing fanfiction obviously doesn't help either, especially since a vast majority of that dribble I've written, especially recently, is a single, canonical moment in time, which I'll describe in tedious, introspective detail. There isn't really any story to be written -- just emotions to expand upon. And thus, all that writting of "story" and I've really not written any kind of story at all.
It's kind of an epiphany really -- I've always wondered why I was just so bad at coming up with endings. Ideas I come up with just write themselves in circles until I get bored. There is a lot of slice-of-life crap kind of half-written stories on my computer. They don't end. Nothing ever ends. No wonder I can't finish writing a novel.
Currently, I've got 900-odd words on a fresh NaNo start. I was inspired by some miscellaneous strip of A Softer World, but I don't know where I can take those 900-some words. And I'm still thousands upon thousands of words behind. I'm supposed to have 10,000 words bytomorrow today. I don't even have one-tenth that. It feels like it's been an awfully long time since I've seriously entertained the idea of giving up on NaNoWriMo for the year, but I think I'm getting to that point. I've not been feeling very inspired or motivated in general for some reason.
It's not been a good month so far.
I've decided to start over on NaNoWriMo because Urban Decay just wasn't working out. I don't know. I just didn't have any ideas for it. The problem with starting over is that I don't have any other ideas.
I've come to the inherently depressing conclusion that I can't really write stories that end. Having roleplayed for so long has probably been a horrible influence -- in roleplay, I don't have to write endings, I only have to write deaths. Writing fanfiction obviously doesn't help either, especially since a vast majority of that dribble I've written, especially recently, is a single, canonical moment in time, which I'll describe in tedious, introspective detail. There isn't really any story to be written -- just emotions to expand upon. And thus, all that writting of "story" and I've really not written any kind of story at all.
It's kind of an epiphany really -- I've always wondered why I was just so bad at coming up with endings. Ideas I come up with just write themselves in circles until I get bored. There is a lot of slice-of-life crap kind of half-written stories on my computer. They don't end. Nothing ever ends. No wonder I can't finish writing a novel.
Currently, I've got 900-odd words on a fresh NaNo start. I was inspired by some miscellaneous strip of A Softer World, but I don't know where I can take those 900-some words. And I'm still thousands upon thousands of words behind. I'm supposed to have 10,000 words by
It's not been a good month so far.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
I'll Catch Up Later
Dangerous words those are, the intention to catch up later. I think I'll let NaBloPoMo go for this year... laptop dying sabotaged it though I suppose I could have tried harder to update on the down day instead of throwing a shit fit over it. As for NaNoWriMo... I haven't even written half a day's quota. Election night isn't a good night to write or really do anything for that matter. "I'll catch up later" has been in my head for a few days now... not a good sign, especially since finals are more or less already upon me. Art school finals last 2-3 weeks because they're all long-term projects. Sucks.
I refuse to not finish NaNoWriMo though.
I'll finish.
...I'll just catch up later.
I refuse to not finish NaNoWriMo though.
I'll finish.
...I'll just catch up later.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
A Bad Start
Crap. Why is there only an hour left until midnight?
Last night, I went to the Metro Coffeehouse around 11:30 pm. There was supposed to be an informal write-in there, but no one ended up coming. This was disappointing because it basically meant everyone I had counted on to be there and who had told me they'd be there weren't there. Roomie was with me, but she had decided that she was too tired for a midnight sprint. In the end, it didn't really matter anyway because the Metro decided to have the Sweeney Todd soundtrack playing, which was highly, highly distracting. That was followed up by some weird techno music that was utterly unsuiting for a coffeehouse environment. We both got really ADD and couldn't get anything done and ended up leaving before one. Very disappointing.
The only really interesting thing that happened while we were there was that a guy dressed as a poodle walked right by our table's window and did a little dance. Mind you, he was wearing nothing but cotton balls. That was all though; I didn't even see much in the way of other notable costumes.
I got all of 71 words written at the Metro, but I did figure one of the plaguing mysteries of my novel... I figured out the protagonist's dog's name. (It's Nina.) Yup. Big accomplishment. The dog's name and gender had been a mystery since March.
I ended up staying up until about 7:30am this morning (what did I tell you about me not sleeping at night anymore?) during which time I got up to -- dramatic pause -- 251 words. Very pathetic indeed. And then all today, I've done nothing. I dragged myself out of bed around 2:30 pm. Did nothing. Lay back down on my bed around... I wanna say seven or eight. Slept until about twenty minutes ago. Haven't written a damn thing. I'm not feeling very motivated all of a sudden. I think last night's disappointments are weighing down disproportionately hard. We'll see how the rest of tonight goes, since I obviously won't be sleeping for a while. My dysfunctional sleeping schedule kind of makes this blog-a-day thing difficult, but it's still easier than grappling with this novel of mine.
Last night, I went to the Metro Coffeehouse around 11:30 pm. There was supposed to be an informal write-in there, but no one ended up coming. This was disappointing because it basically meant everyone I had counted on to be there and who had told me they'd be there weren't there. Roomie was with me, but she had decided that she was too tired for a midnight sprint. In the end, it didn't really matter anyway because the Metro decided to have the Sweeney Todd soundtrack playing, which was highly, highly distracting. That was followed up by some weird techno music that was utterly unsuiting for a coffeehouse environment. We both got really ADD and couldn't get anything done and ended up leaving before one. Very disappointing.
The only really interesting thing that happened while we were there was that a guy dressed as a poodle walked right by our table's window and did a little dance. Mind you, he was wearing nothing but cotton balls. That was all though; I didn't even see much in the way of other notable costumes.
I got all of 71 words written at the Metro, but I did figure one of the plaguing mysteries of my novel... I figured out the protagonist's dog's name. (It's Nina.) Yup. Big accomplishment. The dog's name and gender had been a mystery since March.
I ended up staying up until about 7:30am this morning (what did I tell you about me not sleeping at night anymore?) during which time I got up to -- dramatic pause -- 251 words. Very pathetic indeed. And then all today, I've done nothing. I dragged myself out of bed around 2:30 pm. Did nothing. Lay back down on my bed around... I wanna say seven or eight. Slept until about twenty minutes ago. Haven't written a damn thing. I'm not feeling very motivated all of a sudden. I think last night's disappointments are weighing down disproportionately hard. We'll see how the rest of tonight goes, since I obviously won't be sleeping for a while. My dysfunctional sleeping schedule kind of makes this blog-a-day thing difficult, but it's still easier than grappling with this novel of mine.
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